Josie Paulsen's Rules and Things for Having a Funner Life and Making a Better Liar Out of Yourself

Rules and Things number 123

Never lie to parents they can see right through you.

Rules and Things number 990

If on the lam pack some food so you don't get hungry.

Rules and Things number 1 

Never except a person to be a vampire just because they have blood in a box in the back of their car.

Rules and Things number 91

Don't judge a book by it's cover.

Rules and Things number 21

Don't feed the bad wolf.

Rules and Things number 69

When a parent says what did you do at school today say nothing.

Rules and Things number 96

Don't complain about things just go with the flow.

Rules and Things number 34

Try new things.

Midnight Depression

This band has 4 people Dillon is one his nickname is Dog why because he is tough Dillon plays a saxophone.
 Miss Carrie has no nickname she is kinda the mom of the band she is the singer.
 Starr is a french horn player her nickname is french because she is really likes the french horn.
  Jerry is a trumpet player his nickname is sleepy because he always was tired they are 23 through 30 years old.

Daily News

Midnight Depression

 Tonight at 12 east street cafe at 7:30 you can hear the newest band called Midnight Depression. There are 4 people in this band Miss Carrie, Dillon,Starr and Jerry don't be late. The admission is $0:05 you can hear the best music in town don't be late. There are 400 tickets to go buy them at Grand Rapids saloon. They are so so good that you are going to be surprised that there only 4 people. The Midnight Depression will blow your socks off.

bud not buddy telagraph

BUD AT HOME STOP
GOES TO AMOSES STOP
SEE THAT  TOD THERE STOP
BUD IS FRAMED STOP
BUD GETS SENT TO SHED STOP
BUD SEE A " BIG BAT" STOP
SO BUD HIT IT WITH A BAT STOP
BUD IS STUNG STOP
BUD CAN NOT SEE STOP
BUD PUTS HAND IN FISH MOUTH STOP
BUD JUMPS OUT WINDOW STOP
BUD WAITS TILL LAST HORNET GONE STOP
BUD GO BACK 2 AMOSES STOP
BUD SEE SOMEONE GOT IN  SUITCASE STOP
BUD GET A JELLY JAR STOP
PUTS WARM WATER IN STOP
GOES 2 TOD'S ROOM STOP
DUMPS WATER ON TOD'S BED STOP
 BUD NOW ON LAM STOP

 BUD GO 2 LIBRARY STOP
BUD ASK 4 MISS HILL STOP
LIBRARIAN SAYS HAVEN'T U HEARD STOP
MISS HILL WENT 2 CHICAGO STOP
BUD ASK HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE STOP
LIBRARIAN SAYS A WHILE STOP
BUD STAYS AND WAITS 4 MORNING STOP
BUD GOES 2 SLEEP UNDER TREE STOP
MORNING BUD THINK HE LATE STOP
BUD GETS THERE HE SEE HE NOT LATE STOP
BUT THE PERSON AT DOOR SAYS NO STOP
BUD SAYS THEY HERE STOP
GUY AT DOOR SAY THEY HERE SINCE 600 STOP
THE FAMILY SAY THAT HE IS THERE SON STOP
BUD GOES IN WITH FAKE FAMILY STOP
BUD GETS FOOD STOP
HE GOES BACK 2 TREE STOP
BUGS WAKES BUD UP STOP
BUD IS SUPER SUPRISED STOP
BUD SEE THAT BUGS IS ON LAM 2 STOP
BUGS ASK BUD IF HE WANT 2 GO TO A TOWN STOP
BUGS TELL BUD THAT IT CALLED  HOOVERVILLE STOP
THE GO ON TRAIN 2 THERE STOP
THEY MEET MORE PEOPLE ON LAM STOP
BUD MET DEZA STOP
BUD KISS DEZA STOP
EVERYONE GOES 2 THE TRAIN STOP
COPS COME AND ASK QUESTIONS STOP
BUD SNEAKS OUT 
HE WALK 2 LIBRARY 2 EAT BREAKFEST STOP
THEN HE HEADS 2 MEET HEC STOP
BUD GETS OUT FLINT STOP
GUY LURES BUD 2 CAR STOP
BUD GET FOOD FROM LOUIS STOP
BUD SEE BLOOD BACK SEAT STOP
BUD DRIVE AWAY STOP
BUT LL ISN'T VAMPIRE STOP
BUD FALLS ASLEEP STOP
BUD IS AT LL HOUSE STOP
BUD EAT BREAKFEST STOP
BUD AND LL GO MET HEC STOP
BUD GOES IN 2 MET HEC STOP
BUD SAY IT U STOP
HEC IS CONFUSED STOP
BUD SAY UR MY DAD STOP



 
  

Unheard Conversation

Grandma Sands: Hi honey have you told Byron yet.

Wilona:  I plan for Daniel to tell them.

GS: Speaking of that let me talk to Daniel.

W: Ok Daniel can you come here.

D: Ok what do you need?

W: Grandma Sands wants to talk to you.

D: Ok I am coming.

W: Here.

D: Hi Grandma Sands what do you want to talk to me about?

GS: Have you told the kids.

D: No I haven't told them yet.

GS: Well get to it its going to get cold I dont want my daughter freezing and her kids!

D: I plan to do it today while I tell them about the stereo in the car.

GS: now you are spending money on the car!

D: I wanted to surprise the family!

GS: Does  Wilona know?

D: No she doesn't.

GS: I want to talk to her now!

D: Ok here she is.

D: Bye Grandma Sands.

GS: Bye Daniel.

W: Sorry Grandma Sands its supper time bye.

GS: Bye talk to me later.

Different Perspectives

Joey
It looked like momma was hurting Byron it really scared me. I tried to stop her but she said Joey dear I made a promise to God she asked me do you want to break that promise. I said no because I went to Sunday school every weekend so I had to close my eyes and hug Kenny.  When momma was about to do it I was super scared I saw that Byron was trying to hold back the tears. I felt really bad for Byron I wanted to hug him so bad. I was crying so bad Kenny tried to calm me down.

Byron
 It made me feel scared because this has never happened to me before. I don't know what caused momma to do this I was throwing it down the toilet and flushing it. It wasn't any harm to the house not that I know of. I was trying to imagine that I was somewhere else but when she touched me with the match. I was about to scream and cry it hurt so so so so bad. Now I know not to play with matches now I have learned my lesson.

Momma
 In my point of view I didn't want to do it but Byron had to learn his lesson. I told that boy if he did it a another time I would burn a finger of his and I wasn't kidding. After I did that I told that boy if he did it again I would burn his whole hand. So hope fully that boy will learn his lesson once and for all. I don't want to do that again it broke my heart.       

When I grow up

When I grow up I want to become The Next Great Baker. I want to become that because I love to cook. I think it would be cool to work on Cake Boss with Buddy. i would learn new things to cook. I would meet new people. I would learn new things to pass on to my family. Those are all the reasons that I want to become The Next Great Baker.

I also would like to become a nurse. I  would like to become a nurse because I would get to help people. Also because my grandmas a nurse. I would learn how to treat different problems like if a guy had a flu I would know what shot to give him. I would meet different people and see different people. I would learn different kinds of medicines. That is all the reasons that I would like to become a nurse.

Finally I would like to become a teacher. I would like to become a teacher because I would meet new students.I would teach new things to the kids. I would help children because I am really good with kids. I would get to learn new things myself. I would get to learn new things with the kids. Those are all the reasons I want to become a teacher.

Chapter 51

                     It's the second week of school after winter break Hector met a new friend  his name is Elli he is in there class. Elli came from Camp Dry Lake were they go to prisons and help out and so they can learn they don't want to be like that. That night Stanley asks his mom if Elli can hang out Stanley's  mom says yes so Stanley tells Elli. They turn out he is not as good as they thought he was Elli got sent to jail for stealing a crown jewel so Elli got sent to jail not Camp Dry Lake. But now when ever Stanley and Hector went to school Stanley had to stay by Hector because Elli would try to take Hector away.  One day Elli wouldn't leave them a lone so Stanley went to to the principles office. The principle just told me and Hector to stay away from him she said Elli was bad news.              
       
                  It was the first weekend since the Elli incident Stanley's mom high alert she made them stay inside the hole weekend and from now on Stanley's mom would drive them to school and back. It was Sunday Stanley and Zero were happy to get out of the house because all they could do was play boring not fun board games.Today surprising Elli wasn't there they went on with there day peace full and quiet then all the sudden Elli comes in the middle of Guided Reading were they are doing Blog Questions Elli says sorry I'm late my sister  had surgery on her stomach. Everyone was like hi Elli but Stanley and Hector just did there work of course Mrs. Mover said why won't you sit by Stanley he can help you on your assignment.  Elli said ya sure I'll get right to it Stanley was for sure not happy but  Stanley was a nice guy Stanley would help anyone.           

Chapter 49.5

What happened was that Hector was living with Stanley because Hector didn't have a family and because they were friends now. The suitcase they found it had gems in it wich was just worth 20,000 dollars after all the stuff Stanley's parents paid for Stanley and Hector each got 1,000 dollars. Stanley and Hector got to go to school Hector made a lot of new friends. After all the things that have happened with Hector and Stanley they are like brothers now but they don't fight.      


During school they were in 8 grade Hector was in they same class as Stanley they sat by each other. Hector was doing good in school he was so close to doing better than Stanley that made Stanley feel proud. Hector said he really liked reading because he was learning a lot it made himself happy and Stanley happy. The first weekend in the school year Hector stayed up all night working on his homework unlike Stanley he did his homework on Sunday. When the first report card came both of them got all A's Stanley's mom made them a special dinner and they scarfed it down.    

Brad

His name is Brad and how he got to Camp Green Lake you ask he stole a diamond from a very rare necklace. His nickname is stealer because he stole the diamond from the necklace at a museum and he is not I repeat not a good friend with Stanley Brad is more friends with Armpit and ZigZag. As you know Stanley and ZigZag are not good friends even Brad calls Zero stupid from what Brad heard about Zero. Brad needs a little more displan so he has to dig twice as much so he has dig 10 feet deep and 10 feet wide.

Sam's Famous Onions\Miss Katherine's Spiced Peaches

Sam's Famous Onions
Do you have so problems with some stuff like baldness you should Sam's Famous Onion paste the cures anything even baldness. Like this one lady named Mrs. Collingwood she used the paste on her husbands head but it usually smelled like onions every morning that was the only bad thing about it. So if you want to buy it you can call 1-800-790-594 call now. You can get it half off if you call in the next 30 min but wait its only 11.99 so call now.




    

 Miss Katherine's Famous Peaches


If you like so spice to you peaches and other things like peach cobbler you have to call 1-800-5908.Miss Katherine will make spiced peaches everyone loves them. But wait If you call in the next 30 min. you will get a second jar of spiced peaches so call now.

Dear Mom,

Dear Mom,
             Its awesome here we are learning how to rock climb its kinda easy for me but everyone else it super hard. Everyone is super excited cause next week we are going to camp outside instead of inside we are going to roast marshmallows and have hot cocoa yum yum. There are a lot of different people here I'm making a lot of friends I'll try to write to you when I get the chance. From me and my friends Kaylee, Grace, Nick S., Tagen and Ian
         Love,
            Josie

               

Dear Mom,
    Here at Camp Green Lake we have to dig 5 feet deep hole and 5 feet wide it complete sorrow. We get to sleep in tents there's this one  women that's named Warden she must be the head person around here. We only get a 5 minute shower after we dig a hole every day i met some people like this one guy's name is Nick. All of us have to sleep in cots which is itchy and none of us can barley get to sleep well its time to dig a hole and by the way I have a new nickname called red face.
                     Love,
                       Red face,   

My Winter Break

The first week me and my family stayed at are house then when it came to christmas eve we went to my nanas and opened presents i got some Justice clothes and a fun and fabulous diary.Then christmas day me , Koby and my stepsister Kj we were up since 4 in the morning and when it was 5:30 we woke up are parents and Madyx and Cade we opened presents and the rest of the day we played with are presents. Then the rest of the week mom had to work but when it got to friday me and my sis went to her daycare cause we had to spend the night there because mom and John went to a hotel in Omaha they came back about 3:30 saturday and we went home. Finally when it was the next day we went to my grandpa Charlies to celebrate christmas I got a Green Bay Snuggie and we went home the next day i stayed home and then i went to my sisters daycare with her to help out and hang out with my friend.